Interviews

Elan Moskowitz

Elan Moskowitz (ē’ lӓn, ē lӓn’; mӓsk’ ō wit͡s, mӓsk’ ə wit͡s) n.

  1. One of the coolest people you’ll ever meet
  2. The guy who cheated the system by skipping a grade
  3. A character full of good surprises
  4. Another name for Moskow

 

Q: Were there any rebbe’s that had an impact on you throughout your high school career?

 

Elan: “all of them”

 

No, no, just give us a specific example.

 

Elan: “but there are so many!” *proceeds to name all the rabeim*

 

Q: So how did you do it Elan? How did you skip a grade?

 

Elan: “That’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

 

Q: What do you want to pursue after school?

 

So, of course, Elan has BIG plans for the future. He’s casually debating between being an astrophysicist (yes, like Neil Degrasse Tyson), or straight up an astronaut! What a horrible problem to have! Elan wants to join in the Israeli Air Force and see if he’ll pursue being an astronaut.

 

Q: Is there anything you did during high school you regret?

 

Elan: “There are things that I don’t regret, like lightsaber fighting in Prof’s class.”

 

Umm, ok. Is there anything you would take back?

 

Elan: “not light-sabering more in prof’s class”

 

Q: Any advice for freshman struggling in Mrs. Cohen’s class?

Elan: “Yes. STAPLE YOUR PAPERS!!!

 

This one needs a little bit of explaining. Flashback to Elan’s freshman year. He had just completed one of Mrs. Cohen’s textbook assignments. Mr. Moskowitz had some paper clips lying around and decided to connect his pages using them, he gave it in without a second thought. To his ABSOLUTE HORROR, he receives a minus 2 on his assignment for no staple! Elan to this very day only staples his papers. I guess there was something he regretted!

 

Last question: Is skipping a grade really worth missing out on a year of Bentzi’s pizza bagels?

 

Elan: “That’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

 

Big thanks to Elan Moskowitz for donating five minutes of precious class time to do this interview.

 

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